Funemployment

It’s not easy being a college student. There’s schoolwork, life and budget cuts. Yes, the scary budget cuts. Unfortunately, the economic crisis has left a lot of students unemployed. So what do you do when you have no work and a lot of free time?

Swing the shit out of some swings. Find some swings and swing the shit out of them.

Paint nails for cash. Buy a 99-cent bottle of Wet n Wild nail polish. Paint customers’ nails for $12 a hand. If customers don’t pay, start taking fingers.

Wander. Go ahead. You don’t have anywhere to be.

Make a ’zine. Chronicle your un-employment hardships, baring your soul and all of your vulnerabilities. Then photocopy and sell it for two bucks a pop.

Sleep. Get good and rested for the string of job interviews you don’t have lined up.

Go to the library. Conquer your illiteracy, one word-covered-paper thing at a time.

Open a slap booth. Make a sign and wait for the crowds to pour in. Then slap the hell out of them.

Make a newspaper coat. Face it — You can’t afford real clothes anymore.

Build muscle mass. You probably can’t make your rent payments, so you’ll probably be homeless soon. The only things that are going to keep you safe on the streets after dark are Mr. and Mrs. Bicep.

Kathryn McCormick

-Photo Editor

and Andrew Huang